In
The Awakening, A Doll House, and
A Thousand Splendid Suns wives wanted to leave their husbands. However, while Edna and Nora planned to leave their children as well, Laila refused to leave without Aziza. The reason for this is because Laila was capable of loving and taking care of a child because she knew who she was. Like Demers said in class, Edna and Nora went straight from being daughters to wives and mothers. They had no period in their life when they were allowed to grow as an individual and discover themselves. They have no sense of self and therefore cannot be good mothers. They could not fully love and appreciate their children until they loved themselves and they couldn't love themselves until they knew who they were. Laila, although she married young, had time to discover herself. When she was young her father never treated her as just a daughter and a possession. He treated her as an adult and a friend and encouraged her to be independent and to learn. Even though she married Rasheed, she didn't think she loved him, she knew that she loved Tariq. She was string enough to stand up to her husband when she thought he was wrong even though she had to pay for it. She never let him fully control and posses her, which makes her different from Edna and Nora. Laila was equipped to be a good mother because she was independent and had a strong sense of self.
In today's society, people constantly try to love someone without loving themselves and it never really works out. They don't want to be alone so they marry the wrong person to fill the void of loneliness. There are always teenage girls on shows like Maury that say they are trying to get pregnant so someone will love them. That won't solve the problem because until they have their own identity as an individual they can't really love or be loved.
I think that people should find themselves before they try to be with someone or have children. You have to have time to grow as an individual if you want to be a good spouse and parent someday. I personally wouldn't want my mother to ever give up her self for me no matter what the cost. It wouldn't be good for either of us in the long run.
