March Monthly Connection

In A Room of One's Own Virginia Woolf makes many great points about women in literature but the one that really stuck out to me was the fact that fiction suffered because women had to hide what they were writing.  If a man wanted to write, nobody would think anything of it.  He would be encouraged to follow his dreams and given all the privacy he needed to create his masterpieces.  The same could not be said for women.  A woman could never be accepted as a writer and was certainly never encouraged or given a room of her own to create.  She would have to do it secretly whenever she had time and deal with interruptions.  Jane Austen and the Brontes had to keep their novels a secret and there are times in the storyline, according to Woolf, where you can tell the writer was interrupted.  It is impossible to know how great those stories could have been if the women were free to write as they wished.

This is seen in society today to an extent.  There are things that we deem masculine and feminine and have trouble accepting the other sex doing them.  If a little boy said they wanted to be a pro football player when he was older, nobody would think anything of it.  But if a little girl said the same, it would seem ridiculous.  The same thing would happen if a boy said he wanted to dance ballet.  We have standards for what is expected of both sexes today just like back then, it is just a little better now.  This actually reminds me of Ella Enchanted.  The elf is expected to be an entertainer because that's what all other elves are, but he wants to be a lawyer.  None of the other elves support his wishes they just want him to do what is expected.

I don't agree with the standards we set for ourselves as a society.  The world no doubt missed out on so many great works of literature from women because they were never allowed to write it.  There are so many untold stories and unexpressed geniuses that we will never see because we have standards of behavior for men and women. 

February Monthly Connection

In The Awakening, A Doll House, and A Thousand Splendid Suns wives wanted to leave their husbands.  However, while Edna and Nora planned to leave their children as well, Laila refused to leave without Aziza.  The reason for this is because Laila was capable of loving and taking care of a child  because she knew who she was.  Like Demers said in class, Edna and Nora went straight from being daughters to wives and mothers.  They had no period in their life when they were allowed to grow as an individual and discover themselves.  They have no sense of self and therefore cannot be good mothers.  They could not fully love and appreciate their children until they loved themselves and they couldn't love themselves until they knew who they were.  Laila, although she married young, had time to discover herself.  When she was young her father never treated her as just a daughter and a possession.  He treated her as an adult and a friend and encouraged her to be independent and to learn.  Even though she married Rasheed, she didn't think she loved him, she knew that she loved Tariq.  She was string enough to stand up to her husband when she thought he was wrong even though she had to pay for it.  She never let him fully control and posses her, which makes her different from Edna and Nora.  Laila was equipped to be a good mother because she was independent and had a strong sense of self.

In today's society, people constantly try to love someone without loving themselves and it never really works out.  They don't want to be alone so they marry the wrong person to fill the void of loneliness.  There are always teenage girls on shows like Maury that say they are trying to get pregnant so someone will love them.  That won't solve the problem because until they have their own identity as an individual they can't really love or be loved.

I think that people should find themselves before they try to be with someone or have children.  You have to have time to grow as an individual if you want to be a good spouse and parent someday.  I personally wouldn't want my mother to ever give up her self for me no matter what the cost.  It wouldn't be good for either of us in the long run.

Obligation vs. Desire: Monthly Connection

Like Water for Chocolate and The Awakening both deal with an individual struggling between familial obligations and personal dreams.  In Like Water for Chocolate, Tita desperately wants to marry Pedro even though, as the youngest daughter, she is obligated to stay single and take care of her mother.  When Pedro marries Tita's sister, she is forbidden by her family to show her sadness.  Eventually, Tita forgets all of her obligations.  She begins an affair with Pedro and leaves her mother.  These actions show that Tita has chosen to fulfill her own personal dreams instead of living the life others are telling her to live.  Edna makes the same choice in The Awakening.  She has a husband and children whom she is responsible for, but she leaves them to pursue her own passions.  She ignores all of her wifely and motherly duties to paint and do other things she loves.  She also moves into a house alone to become even more independent.

The internal debate between obligations and desires is seen a lot in society today.  Children want to please their parents, but at the same time be happy with themselves.  Choosing a college is a good example of this.  If everyone in a family went to a certain college, a child may feel obligated to go there, even if it isn't his first choice.  Another example of this would be a family business.  A father might expect that his son take over the family business, even if that isn't what the son wants.

Personally, I think that generally fulfilling personal dreams should win out.  Pleasing your family and friends is great, but in the end it's you who has to live your life, not them.  Doing what makes you happiest will work out best in the long run.  However, that doesn't mean it's okay to shirk all responsibilities.  I don't care how unhappy you are, it is never acceptable to just leave your children like Edna did in The Awakening.  Sending bon-bons to your kids once a month doesn't make up for abandoning them, Edna.